A little update.
So, the psychiatrist was lovely and provided some wonderful insight into my mind. I have a lot of insight, don't get me wrong. But she's familiar with all the fantastic terminology.
What she informed me is I am moderately depressed, I have something called learned helplessness (a very interesting read). She also informed me that I am struggling to deal with my wonderful relationship with my partner. How strange!! But I understand it, 90% of my relationships with people whether romantically or friendships etc have been toxic to me. in some way or other. For example, I've been with a few abusive partners, people that have treated me like shit for whatever reason, either emotionally or physically abusive; that, has left it's scars. So back to my new relationship, apparently I can't deal with how good it is because of how toxic my relationships have ordinarily been. Baffling but understandable at the same time! This was the first time in a very long time I actually felt listened to by a psychiatrist. So that was pretty special.
I was also spoken to very well, not belittled in any way shape or form.
...oh my god I use 'So' a lot.
The plan? I have some shiny new medication. Which is fantastic, I'm fairly confident she prescribed the wrong dose but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's already helping me sleep and this morning I have woken up so incredibly happy. Giggling at everything, choking on my smoke from laughing whilst cigarette in hand.
I'm not suggesting the medication has worked straight away as I'm very familiar with medication and I know it takes weeks to kick in. However, I'm noticeably happier today which is fantastic. I just hope it lasts!
The other plan is to refer me for more therapy.. Um yay! I'm looking forward to it if it actually helps, which I'm really really hoping it does.
Today the crisis team are coming out to see me, I feel high as a kite (from the medication) and I might just burst into laughter mid conversation with how I feel. The plan was to discharge me Monday (tomorrow) and I feel that is still on the cards, it will probably, most definitely happen. This is a little scary as the support I've had in place just over a week will suddenly vanish, I'm not incredibly good at reaching out to people when the hard times hit so (ooh there's that word again) I will just have to wait and see.
Thank you for reading you beautiful people <3
Much love and happy Sunday (or whatever day it is when you read this)
What she informed me is I am moderately depressed, I have something called learned helplessness (a very interesting read). She also informed me that I am struggling to deal with my wonderful relationship with my partner. How strange!! But I understand it, 90% of my relationships with people whether romantically or friendships etc have been toxic to me. in some way or other. For example, I've been with a few abusive partners, people that have treated me like shit for whatever reason, either emotionally or physically abusive; that, has left it's scars. So back to my new relationship, apparently I can't deal with how good it is because of how toxic my relationships have ordinarily been. Baffling but understandable at the same time! This was the first time in a very long time I actually felt listened to by a psychiatrist. So that was pretty special.
I was also spoken to very well, not belittled in any way shape or form.
...oh my god I use 'So' a lot.
The plan? I have some shiny new medication. Which is fantastic, I'm fairly confident she prescribed the wrong dose but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's already helping me sleep and this morning I have woken up so incredibly happy. Giggling at everything, choking on my smoke from laughing whilst cigarette in hand.
I'm not suggesting the medication has worked straight away as I'm very familiar with medication and I know it takes weeks to kick in. However, I'm noticeably happier today which is fantastic. I just hope it lasts!
The other plan is to refer me for more therapy.. Um yay! I'm looking forward to it if it actually helps, which I'm really really hoping it does.
Today the crisis team are coming out to see me, I feel high as a kite (from the medication) and I might just burst into laughter mid conversation with how I feel. The plan was to discharge me Monday (tomorrow) and I feel that is still on the cards, it will probably, most definitely happen. This is a little scary as the support I've had in place just over a week will suddenly vanish, I'm not incredibly good at reaching out to people when the hard times hit so (ooh there's that word again) I will just have to wait and see.
Thank you for reading you beautiful people <3
Much love and happy Sunday (or whatever day it is when you read this)
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