So sad. Much pain.
It’s hard to try explain to people that don’t understand, in fact to say it’s hard is a huge understatement. I sometimes find it completely soul destroying. Yesterday, I was exhausted but very happy, incredibly proud of myself as I’d managed to go to work after having nearly 6 months off. I get embarrassed and lie about it e.g. "I've decided not to pick up any shifts for a bit" (I work bank anyway, so I just make out I pick up shifts to suit myself), I miss that job terribly, it hurts to even think about. For 4 years I was a carer & now I’m too unwell to do it, at all. But I loved that job with all of my heart, to make a difference to people, to help people and ensure they make it through difficult times, it was so rewarding. Unfortunately in the end it made me worse – as you can’t save everyone. Today however, I feel dreadful. When people asked what was wrong, I said it was anxiety, which it was to a degree. My mind was something like a washing machine today &