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Showing posts from March, 2019

I will win.

The last few weeks have been quite tricky, it seems that it still isn't letting up. I thought once I'd physically healed, I would feel better. I thought that once I returned to work, I would feel better. That my mind would be occupied. All would be well, as I would be distracted.  .. It's not.  I find myself permanently exhausted and following on from the exhaustion; constantly emotional. I find myself more explosive, stressed and irritable than ever before. I cannot remember the last time I felt this bad.  Anxiety has my gag reflex going for hours on end daily, I am convinced I'm dying or will die soon in the throes of panic attacks - how many or how frequent, I don't know. I am just sick of constantly being on edge. I begin to tremble, my heart races and my fingers turn into ribbons - can't really use them for anything. But they're trying to do something at least.  I find myself unable to fuel my body, to give it what it needs to function which al