Oh my god she's gone all positive.

So, as I keep informing you all. In bad place, blah blah blah.

What I am learning however, is I can ride this fucking wave. I can do it. I know parts of why I'm low. That's great. So if you struggle, if you try to identify it. Piece by piece. It might help, who knows!
Mine is instability coupled with a lack of routine, as structure is so important for someone like me. Banging (Oh my god did I actually just use that word).

In crisis? Call someone!

This can be a loved one, the Samaritans (116 123) or your local crisis team. If you'd prefer to see someone then perhaps seek out the advice of your GP.

Talk about it.

Let it all out, cry, talk and remember you've got this. Tell yourself that, even if you don't believe it at first. You've done this before, you can do it again.
Or perhaps you haven't, but still, you can do it and I believe in you. It doesn't need to end negatively.

This morning..

I went, full swing into meltdown. A full on meltdown. All I was wearing was soaked in my own tears and I had that really irritating nose sniffle/dribble from crying so much, looking at my own reflection and for the millionth time thinking what the fuck is going on.
I thought I was seriously going to do something bad. So covered in tears and still crying, I called my dad. I've had several conversations with my dad today and dare I say it, it's helped.

Do whatever makes you feel competent.

What makes me feel competent? Doing something simple, like doing the dishes. Because I know I can do it, or applying makeup because it might help with the feeling low all mixed up with shitty self esteem.

Today on my end it's taken a lot of sleep, my medication and lots of talking, but I am no longer at the 'I am going to explode' point.

Take care of yourself.

Again for me, on this day it's simply been taking a shower, moisturising and getting into clean clothes. It's the little things folks.
The best part is it doesn't matter how long it takes you, it has taken me well over half of the day. Don't rush yourself, take your time and allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Hang in there folks and remember you can email me here anytime if you need to.

I know my last few posts have been incredibly pessimistic but here's one, hopefully doing what I set out to do in the first place and give people hope.