Yet another serious post; but semi-nice.

A big shoutout to a few people. There are a few special people, keeping me going during this difficult time. Will get to that bit in a minute.

Yesterday and today have been total showers of shit. Complete showers of shit, I've been crazy, tearful, cried a lot and had mood swings a great deal too. Last night I was pretty hammered and cried so much; I was celebrating good news you see!

But there are a few people I can talk to about these things and a few people that have left messages or comments of support which means the world. If you're reading this you know who you are!


3 people in particular have gone above and beyond to help to support me. My beautiful boyfriend,  my wonderful best friend and my dad.

My best friend

No matter  the amount of shit he faces, the amount of stress and pressure he's under. He is here and always listens, without judgement and always encourages me to do the right thing. We have been best friends for such a long time, since my early teens and I couldn't imagine not having my best friend. I know things are tough for now, but I am here if ever you need me.

My dad

Similar to my best friend, he's always here no matter what is going on for him, we can talk about his good and bad days, share experiences, joke about being unwell and day or night, if I need to call him, he's always on the other end of the phone.

My boyfriend

Who like everyone has his own shit to deal with, but still tolerates mine. Not only does he tolerate it but he witnesses everything I feel, do and go through. I have now lost count of the amount of times I've cried on him, or swore whilst angry and vented. But he has an incredible way of helping me deal with it, as does my bestie and as does my dad.

Today for an example

Today, I was supposed to have medication sorted out. Finally, get back on my journey to stability, this did not happen and my boyfriend was here for me, he took me to my doctors, held my hand every step of the way. Watched me fall apart in the car after the appointment was over, listened to my venting and my concerns. It was the saddest but so beautiful, as I may be down, anxious and shit but I can recognise that people are here for me.
Then we went to Morrisons, he bought me flowers, he bought me cake {looks like such a good cake} and he has looked after me all night thus far.
He put up with my painful silence and staring into space, my cold behaviour. Because I just  couldn't deal with however much longer, off medication; it's scary.

But  to the beautiful people supporting me right now, it hasn't gone unnoticed and I have so much love for you, for all of you.
I am so down, fucked, anxious and all over the place but I know this, I am so so very lucky.

Thank you all <3  

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